i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I AM VODKA MAN
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
