Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize