Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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