I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
You're like the curious george of whores
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize