He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
