i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I deserve this hangover.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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