similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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