In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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