woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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