I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
birth control should be required to get into college
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
