I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
