You're completely useless in the revolution.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
