I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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