we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
