oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
