it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize