She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
