If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
