I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize