He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I don't deserve a penis
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
