life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
