What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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