Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
