Princesses don't give blow jobs
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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