$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
