i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
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