Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
