i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
we're so committed to being not committed
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
