I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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