God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
