Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize