You're so nebulous sometimes
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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