no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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