im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
