I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
