That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
