Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
