I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
