No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
