why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
