But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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