i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
