I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
