I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
His hands were made for my vagina.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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