On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
3 2 1 whiskey
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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