Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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