Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
