Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
