Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
