do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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