I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
