Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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