Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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