I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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