I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
