Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
