Can Purell be used as lube?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
