For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
