No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
