so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
are you so shy because you have an std?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
