How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
