writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
